Was it something I said?

I have been the victim of a heinous crime. So horrible, that I'm left wondering if I'm just some worthless good for nothing loser who should live out the rest of my life tucked away in some cavernous hillside away from all civilization.

Someone stopped following me. This morning I had 40 followers. Now I have 39. Not that I'm counting. I mean, it doesn't matter to me at all, really. I couldn't care less how many people want to be my imaginary friend. It's not like this blog matter to me at all.

Except that it does. And the friends I've made from this blog mean something to me. A lot, actually. So the fact the someone has decided they no longer wants to be my friend hurts.

I don't know who you are. I don't know what I said that offended you. Was it that I told you to brush your teeth? Do I talk about running too much? Or music? Or maybe it offends you that I'm so openly unembarrassed about my shortcomings? Or maybe you just think I'm way too boring.

Whatever it was, I'd like to know. I CAN'T STAND the fact that someone could possibly have been offended or hurt by me. Whatever it was, I'm sorry. Please forgive me. And if you don't want to come back, I'll understand. But, I need to know what I did that offended you. So I can fix it. Otherwise, I'll never know, and I won't be able to make it better.

So, leave me a comment, anonymously, if you want (I promise I won't stalk who you are on my stat counter), or send me an email.

*On another sad note, I went to the dentist today. The doc came in, said my teeth looked great, my x-rays looked good, and I didn't have any cavities! Hooray! Then the dental hooker, I mean hygienist, said "What about that dark spot right there?" So the dentist looked at the tooth, and sure enough, I had an old filling coming lose, and some decay above it. He said there would've been absolutely NOTHING I could've done to prevent this, but, alas, I need a root canal and a crown. What the !@#$%^&&????!!!!!!!! Needless to say, I'm ticked! So, I guess I'm doing a ticked-off Tuesday post, after all, Debilyn.

New Year's Spirit Award

It's the 2009 New Year's Spirit Award!!

I got this award from Debilyn. I'm not exactly sure how it's possible that I got this award, since I'm usually such a downer at this time of year. I do have to say, though, that doing that bucket fillers have done wonders for my mood. And despite the gray skies, and bitter cold, I'm feeling pretty good.

So, Thank You Debilyn, for being disillusioned enough to actually think I might be upbeat enough at this time of year to deserve this. You totally made my day!

And here are the rules:

1. You must be a true lover of the New Year to receive this award.The person to whom you give the award must also be in love with the New Year.

2. List 5 things that you love about the New Year. If you can't limit it to 5 things, then keep going till you run out of space.

3. Pass the award along to as many people as you like. That can be 1 or 50. It's up to you! But keep the New Year cheer going.

4. Let your recipients know that you have tagged them by leaving a comment on their site. Also, link back to the person who gave you the award.

As for my 5 things?? This is hard. Really hard. I'm going to try to be positive here. Here goes...

1. It might seem like I'm copying you, Debilyn, but I love taking down my Christmas decorations. More so that putting them up, actually. It's cleansing to me. I love getting rid of the clutter, and the bare, clean look my house has after everything is put away.

2. I love the feeling of starting over. A fresh start. Like somebody just pushed the reset button, and I can try again to be a better me.

3. This is the time of year when C and I start taking lots of trips, so I have that to look forward to, to help break up the winter.

4. That ahhhh feeling of Christmas being over. Things slow down, and no more hustle and bustle.

5. I'm reaching a little here, but I do love snuggling up by the fire, and drinking hot cocoa when it's cold outside.

6. Oh, and football season is almost over. Did I mentioned we're GOING to the superbowl?!!!!

And now, without further ado, I pass this award along to:

OK, here's the thing. This is the part of these bloggy award thing that irritates me. I LOVE getting the recognition, but don't like burdening people with the pressure of passing it along.

So, if you like this, feel free to copy it and do it on your blog. I'm officially awarding any and all of you who read this post! And comment, please comment!

A Word About Running

Since I ran the St. George marathon in October, I've been in a serious running funk. I don't know what my problem is. I think maybe I got burned out, I guess, and I took a little too much time after the marathon to "rest" and got out of the habit. My biggest problem, seriously, is getting up in the morning.

Why is that so stinkin' hard? Even when I go to bed early?

So, this morning I actually did get up and go running. Yes, yes, after the blizzard last night. It was, shall we say, less than pleasant. Especially considering that if I had gotten up just 15 minutes earlier I could've met up with my running group. They meet at 5:15. And in order to meet them I have to leave at 5:00 because they meet in a neighboring town and I have to drive there. I'm so lazy, I can't get up on time, so I got up at 5:30, and went by myself.

The difference between running with people and running alone is the same as utter bliss compared to complete torture.

I think the only reason I actually did get up was the thought that I have to run a half marathon in less than 2 weeks, and I'm simply out of shape. It's crunch time, people. And I'm not sure you can "cram" for a half marathon.

I honestly think I fell in love with running because of the social aspect of it. I mean there is something so exhilerating about going to a race, and realizing that you are surrounded by hundreds of other people who love something as much as you do.

Running by myself leaves me alone with my thoughts. That's a very dangerous thing. Not to mention that it's dark, and the roads are slick. Holy cow, this morning they were horrible!! The mayor of my town has decided it's not necessary to plow unless it's a weekday between 8am and 5pm. It's ridiculous, really. So, since our roads weren't plowed, my run this morning was slow, painful, and treacherous. I felt like I wasn't making any ground. My feet kept slipping backwards. I'm sure if someone were watching me, it was pretty entertaining watching me slip and slide all over the road.

So, I ventured out, intending to run 6 miles. And I'm sad to say, I cheated and only did 5. I could've gone one more mile, but I was sick of running in the snow bank whenever a car went by, and slipping all over the place, and I was bored.

That, right there, is the difference for me of running alone, and running with someone.

Running alone is boring.

So, if you are thinking of starting to run, but hesitate for whatever reason. If you want to go with someone, but are wary because you don't think you can keep up. My advice is to go with that person. Chances are they'll go your pace anyway, or they'll push you to do better than you think you can. And it's amazing how a good conversation can make the miles fly by like nothing.

Tomorrow, I'm getting up, and running with the group.

Bucket Filler

Today's bucket filler might seem a little weird to some of you. But, hey, we all need a reason so smile more, right?

I have a dentist appointment today. It's got me thinking. Do I take good enough care of my teeth?

Starting today, if you aren't already doing it, let's go for a week brushing, flossing, and mouth washing twice a day, everyday. Hopefully, by the end of the week, it'll be routine, and a habit, and you're on your way to prettier, healthier teeth.

Then go put on some bright red lipstick and go out on the town, and show off your gorgeous smile! It's been proven that smiling can improve your mood. Don't believe me? Try it!

New Year Quiz

A New Year Quiz

I stole this from Melissa's blog, feel free to steal it from mine. Let me know if you do so I can read your answers.

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before? Ran a marathon. Actually I ran three, and a couple half marathons, and a relay. And fell in LOVE with running. And also made a professional recording of song songs I wrote/arranged.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Sort of, not really. That's why this year, I'm simplifying. And that's my only resolution.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? My dear friend, Motherboard, and I have 3 sisters who are expecting in 2009.

4. Did anyone close to you die? No. It's been a good year in that department.

5. What countries did you visit? Cancun, Mexico in February. We got to watch the Superbowl in Spanish. And I forgot C's birthday. (It's hard to remember the date when you're on vacation).

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008? Being more attentive to my family, more patient with my children, and my charitable to my neighbors. And just be happier.

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? Starting my blog in January, Finishing my first 1/2 marathon in January, finishing my first full marathon in May, going to Mexico for the first time in February.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? I have to say running a marathon, and recording my CD (that I'm still trying to produce. It's a long process.)

9. What was your biggest failure? Giving in to my depression too easily and letting it affect my family.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Depression

11. What was the best thing you bought? Uh..probably the Tahoe, but C bought it for me.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? KJ, TJ & Peter. I celebrate them everyday. They are such good kids!

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? My own, mostly.

14. Where did most of your money go? Paying the mortgage, as usual.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Again, running, and Mexico, and also finding out in December that we're going to the Superbowl in February!!!

16. What song will always remind you of 2008? Hmmm. Probably the Wicked soundtrack, because I listened to that alot this year.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Happier-ish
b) thinner or fatter? Fatter (dangit!)
c) richer or poorer? Richer (less debt!!)

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Spent more quality time with my monkeys

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Feeling sorry for myself

20. How did you spend Christmas? Christmas morning at home with my little fam, then with C's family for dinner.

21. Did you fall in love in 2008? Besides falling in love with running? I fell deeper in love with C!

22. What was your favorite TV program? Hmm...The Unit, Pushing Daisies, The Office, House, AI

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? I honestly can't think of anyone that I even dislike.

24. What was the best book you read? I read a lot of great books in 2008. How do I narrow it down? I don't know which one was my favorite. Look at my sidebar to see which books I read.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery? Discovering that I could write music, and unlocking the flood gate of songs I had inside me.

26. What did you want and get? a cleaning lady!!!!

27. What did you want and not get? Wicked tickets. :(

28. What was your favorite film of this year? Mamma Mia! I grew up loving ABBA songs, and saw this in the theater 4 times, and then got the DVD for Christmas!

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 30 and C took me out to eat at Rickenbackers, and we got a couple's massage. And I remember I was really really sick, so we came home early and I went to bed.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Not being depressed.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008? Probably better than the past, but I discovered designer jeans and spent too much money.

32. What kept you sane? Running, running, running, and, seriously, blogging.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? I don't know. I can't think of any.

34. What political issue stirred you the most? Definitely the election. And the economy.

35. Who did you miss? My sis, Kris, who lives across the country

36. Who was the best new person you met? Motherboard. We didn't really meet this year, we met before, but we became close friends this year, and I love her dearly!

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008. Don't waste precious time being selfish. Don't clutter your life with too many things. Simplify! (which is my 2009 resolution)

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. "Running down a dream" and "Thank you for the music"

Bucket Filler

I'm already noticing a theme with my bucket fillers. For those of you who are like me, and struggle everyday to "beat the blues", I hope that these little tidbits help to brighten your day, just a little bit. For those of you lucky ones who are blessed to not get the blues, then I hope they will help you be an even better you.

Remember our little walk? Getting our heart pumping? Today, the kids went back to school. Let's continue where we left off on Saturday. While the kiddos are off at school, call a neighbor and go out and walk around the block. If you work during the day, plan to do something when you get home. Or take a walk during your lunch break. If you have little ones at home and it's too cold for the stroller, then pop in an exercise video. If you don't have one, then find the channel FitTV on your TV. They have some awesome exercise shows. If you don't have that channel, then get your little ones to do some simple jumping jacks, pushups and situps. Do as many as you can for 30 seconds. Anybody can go for 30 seconds. Even YOU.

Do something for yourself today and GET ACTIVE! And start doing something active everyday.

Bucket Filler

Another great way to fight the winter blues is to get outside of yourself, and be a friend. Anybody remember that Michael McLean song "Be that Friend?"

"Be that friend, be that kind that you've prayed you might find, And you'll always have a best friend come what may."

Well today, BE THAT FRIEND!!

Go out of your way to say Hello to someone you don't usually talk to. Strike up a conversation. Or call one of your neighbors and invite them to dinner, or dessert with your family. You never know until you get to know someone that you might have a really great friend just waiting to be discovered.

And making someone else's day just might make your day!

Bucket Filler

Are you fighting the winter blues? I know I have been! One thing I know for sure, is that exercise is the one thing the really works for me.

So, today, it's Saturday! Get outside, and do something physical. Get your heart pumping. Breath some fresh air, and see the sun (or clouds) for a few minutes.


Get your family bundled up and go sledding, or go for a little walk. Or if you think it's just way too cold outside, then do 25 jumping jacks in your living room. Or rearrange some furniture. Or vacuum. ANYTHING to get your heart rate up!

You'll be amazed at how much better, happier, and more energized you feel, even after 5 minutes.

Catching the Bucket

This month I am honored, and a little freaked out, to have the opportunity to "catch the bucket."
My dear friend, Motherboard, tossed it to me. If you aren't following her over at Crazyland, and don't know about her amazing Bucket Fillers, well, first of all, you should go follow her and read her blog. She is amazing. Every day, she posts some little tidbit of inspiration for all of us admirers of her to live by. And now, she's passing that privilege over to me.

And I'm feeling incredibly unworthy to be filling such big shoes (not that she has big feet...oh you know what I mean). It's daunting, this prospect of doing the bucket fillers. Because I don't consider myself to be all that inspiring, or inspired for that matter. But, I will share the things in my life that bring me joy, and hopefully you will get something from it too!

So, without further adieu, for today's bucket filler, I'm cheating and using the quote that I posted yesterday.

"Life is meant to be enjoyed, not just endured." - Gordon B. Hinckley

Today is the last day of holiday break before the grind begins again. Go do something fun with your family. And ENJOY your day!!

Happy New Year!

And, I DO mean Happy! Today was a pretty good day. Considering my track record. In years past, New Years Day, has proved to be one of the worst days of my life. For some reason, it has always been a really hard day for me. I think it just might have something to do with the ridiculous tradition that my husband's family has for all crowding into our house to watch football. All. Day. Long.

It really, really used to get to me. Especially before we moved to this house. We lived in a little starter home and there was hardly standing room when the whole family was there. And the noise....oh....the noise! You remember how I'm kind of agoraphobic with crowds? One year, I just left and drove around for like 4 hours, then snuck in the back door when no one was looking and locked myself in my bedroom.

It's been a lot better since we moved to the bigger house. More space for everyone, and toy room for the kids. So, today, went pretty well.

I slept in late. Our whole family worked together cleaning up the basement and rearranging furniture, which honestly, I actually enjoyed. There is just something therapeutic about working together as a family. I love that! Then my hubby and I did a P90X exercise video together, which, in a weird, psycho way, I think is romantic. Then I made some good food, everyone came over and visited, and we had a great day.

So, I think we're off to a good start for the year!

This year, for resolutions, I'm not making any. I was looking through my journal from years past, and I always make the same goals. They're good goals, don't get me wrong, but it always ends up fizzling after a month or less. You know the usual: go to the temple monthly, read scriptures, say prayers, lose 197 lbs. One year, I actually made a goal to go the whole year without eating chocolate. Ho...ha hahahahahaha!!!!!! I think I made it to about 2:00. On January 1st.

So, this year I have one goal:

SIMPLIFY

This year, I'm just going to keep it to the basics. No unnecessary extra crap that I think I have to do to be a good wife, mother, etc. I don't HAVE to sign up to make a treat for EVERY relief society event. I don't have to have a perfectly clean house. I don't have to have my children schedule in 40 different extra curricular activities.

This year, I think we're just going to take it easy. And I'm going to move my focus more from myself, and to my little family. Maybe I won't run so many races this year, or spend so much time writing music. Maybe I'll take my kids to the park more often, and go on more dates with my husband.

So, that's my one goal for 2009.

I usually don't do cheesy cliche things like having a theme for the year, but my SIL gave me this tile thing with a quote that I absolutely love.

"Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured." -Gordon B. Hinkley

I love that quote. And I'm going to try to live by that this year.

p.s thank you for all of your thoughts on my last post. I truly appreciate all of you. You helped me feel more..."normal" and less like a freak. Thank you!!!