Inquiring Minds Want to Know....

I know I haven't give a lot of details here about my illness. And I have had tons of emails and comments asking what the verdict is. So, I thought I'd just write a post illustrating the whole rundown, so every one's questions are answered.

I believe I was getting sick before I knew or felt I was sick. Last winter, sometime, I started feeling tired, lethargic. I forced myself to keep running/exercising, even though I was tired all the time. I thought I was just in a funk. After running the Ogden marathon, and then the Ragnar relay, I decided to seriously take it down a notch. Whenever I would run, I would run out of breath, and feel the need to stop and walk. (Just so you know, this is a big deal. Before this, I NEVER would stop to walk).

At first, I thought I was pregnant, or had gained too much weight over the winter (I'm not sure if this is related or not, but I had gained around 15 pounds in 1 month period in the fall.)

Sometime in the spring, I started getting sporadic shakes. Jitters, inner tremors. It would come and go. I didn't know what it was or where it came from.

In June, I had my IUD removed.

In July, I started feeling increasingly more tired, and started having more frequent bowel movements. Ok, ok, diarrhea. I'm not shy. Within 1 week, I had lost 10 pounds.

I just had this hunch. So, I went to the doctor, and told him I thought it was a hormone thing. He said it wouldn't have anything to do with the IUD, and said it was a virus. Gave me an anti-diarrhea medicine.

I then, went to another doctor, talked about hormone imbalance, and he prescribed me Prozac. After talking to my Mom about "feeling like a zombie on Prozac" so I chose to stop taking it.

Things worsened. By August I had lost 20 pounds. The diarrhea, exhaustion and tremors continued. The anti-diarrhea medicine made me throw up. I started to have trouble sleeping at night, which only aggravated everything else. My whole body itches and I developed a nasty rash.

My heart started pounding all the time. I had to stop exercising. This made me tired and depressed. I wore a heart monitor one day, and found that my resting heart rate was over 110, and trying to exercise sent it up over 200.

I googled causes of rapid heart rate. Somehow I stumbled across thyroid problems. Suddenly, all of my symptoms made sense.

I went to my gyno, and told him I thought it was my thyroid. He did a TSH test. 1 week later, I called asking for my results. They said my TSH was low, but he doesn't do thyroid so go back to my family doctor.

In the meantime, called my insurance to get specialists names. They wouldn't even give me names of doctors without a referral.

I found a different family doctor, who finally agreed to do all of the extensive tests. Blood work for my T3, and T4 levels, and ultrasound of my thyroid and a radioactive iodine uptake. Over 2 weeks after the tests, and not hearing anything. I called my doctor. And called and called, without any returned messages. I finally made an appointment, only to have him tell me that he wanted me to do these tests. I told him we already did them, and I'm here for the results. Waiting, waiting. He finally comes back saying I have a VERY prominent thyroid, my hormone levels are off the charts, and there are small nodules that could or could not be cancerous. The official diagnosis though, is severe hyperthyroidism.
So, let's get you into the endocrinologist.
The nurse called and made an appointment for me. I have to wait another 3 weeks, thinking, worrying if I have cancer. And by now, I have lost 35 pounds.
I know I looked sickly, but I went to church, and suddenly everyone started bringing me dinner and stuff.

Finally, last Tuesday, the 20th, I went to the endocrinologist. They don't have my test results, my family doctor didn't fax them, like they said they would. I'm frustrated. They call and get the results while I wait. I'm liking this office.
The doctor walks in, introduced himself, and then pronounces that I have Grave's disease. This is new. I've never heard it before. He explains that it's an autoimmune disease which causes the immune system to attach it's own body, and which affects the pituitary gland, and caused my hyperthyroidism and all of my symptoms.

He then says that my nodules are small and aren't cancerous, and that I don't need surgery. I may possible need radiation, but there's a new anti-thyroid medication. I jump on that, the worst that could happen is that it doesn't work, but it's worth a shot. He then explains in detail everything I need to watch for and what to expect.

So, I have Grave's disease, and I'm taking a pill that's supposed to make it all better. My doc called last Monday to up my dosage from 2 pills a day to 6 pills a day. I'm not 100% but I'm feeling a little bit better. I got back in 6 weeks to get more blood work, and see if it's working.

So, there you have it.

Wordless Wednesday

Thoughts and Insights from watching too much TV/Movies

First and foremost, this is important. You all need to know for the sake of your valuable time, because I lost those 2 hours and I can never get them back.

This movie.....

was the Stupidest. Movie. EVER!!!!

My kids even hated it.

That's all. You've been warned.

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My husband is out of town. Again. I've gotten used to being alone at night over the years, but every so often, the dark gets the best of me. Especially this time of year, when everything is focused on the supernatural: ghosts, goblins, vampires, and the wind is howling, and the rain is pounding on my window. So, I woke up in the middle of the night, last night, with a sense of fear.

Mostly, because I had awakened from a frightening nightmare in which Wanda Sykes had been yelling at me.

Yeah. Wanda Sykes is really scary.

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Due to my ever-increasing insomnia, I spend a lot of time up at night, watching TV. I found myself watching Hannah Montana over and over at 3 am last night.

What is the world coming to?

And then, after I got Monkey #1 (KJ) out the door for school, then going back to bed only to have Monkey #3 (Peter) come in wanting to watch Dora, I feel back to sleep.

I remember dreaming something about taking a Spanish class, and I was arguing with the teacher about how to say I'm pregnant. I kept saying "Estoy embarazada" over and over. Then the teacher decided we needed to learn how to dance. I remember her clearly saying "Up!" "Down!" Myiagi style, over and over.

Then, I awoke, and the TV was blaring the BYU channel. Apparently, I had been learning Spanish and ballroom dancing in my sleep.

(disclaimer: I'm not pregnant. I have been told by a reliable source, i.e. my doctor, that I can no longer have babies.)

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Sandra Bullock is in a lot of movies. Especially ones that come on TNT and TBS in the middle of the day while my kids are at school. And she runs weird. I can't quite put my finger on it. Maybe she over came spina bifida as a child, or maybe one of her legs is shorter than the other.

She looks a little like this when she runs:

Man, that girl is HOT!!

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Okay, I have some other randomness going on in my head, and since my track record is one post a week lately, I'll just say them here:

• It snowed today. What the Friggin' Crap?!!! I'm not ready for that yet.
• I've decided that the position for my job as housewife is open. I'm pretty much getting fired, anyway. I haven't done any sort of domestic duties since Prince went by the name of "the artist formally known as Prince." Anyone who wants to apply to clean my house, discipline my kids, and give me a sponge bath so I don't get bed sores, can apply in the comments sections.


• I would write about my weekend and all the crazy involved, but I'm not sure who does or doesn't read my blog, and I don't want to offend anyone.
• We had a birthday last week as you may know. I'd post pictures, but I kinda hardly took any. We have another birthday next week. And Halloween and Thanksgiving and Christmas. Every year, I get more and more inclined to off myself during the holidays. I HATE them. Hate! HATE!! We're boycotting this year.


• I'm tired. I think I'll go watch some more TV now.
  

Dear Anonymous:

I don't know who you are, but I just want to let you know I was touched by your words.

Thank you.

And I'm sorry for you what you are going through. I firmly believe that women need women, even if its only through virtual communication.

That said, I want to be your friend. Send me an email. (It's in my profile).

Let's chat!

Love, Sher

I'm Good Enough, I'm Smart Enough...and Doggone It, People Like Me!!

Do you ever feel so lonely, that you just sit down and wallow in self pity? Have you ever been so absorbed in your own selfish problems, that you don't even notice the people around you waiting and willing to help you?

I have.

And I have been humbled these past few weeks.

Not only has my amazing and wonderful husband been right there by my side, helping and supporting me (sometimes literally physically supporting me when I was too tired and depressed to even stand up by myself), and my incredibly supportive parents and in-laws, who have come over to help me clean my house, watch my kids, and offered tons of love and support, but I have friends. Amazing-wonderful-don't-know-what-I'd-do-without-you friends.

I have one friend in particular, who's entire existence makes me want to get out of bed in the morning. I'm convinced that we were guided to move to this neighborhood simply so I could meet this person. I love her with my whole soul. She has listened to me cry on the phone, talked me down from the ledge, held my hand, sat up and talked to me in the middle of the night, watched my kids, cleaned my house, made me dinner. She is truly the best friend I've ever had.

So, MB, I just want to say thank you, and I love you more than words can say!

Additionally, I have come to realize that I have a lot of friends. People have come out of the woodwork. There are people in my neighborhood, people whom I didn't even think knew my name, who have called, or come by with words of comfort. I have had so many people say how much they love me and pray for me to pull through this.

If it was weak before, I have gained a stronger testimony of the power of prayer. Dozens of people praying on my behalf, has blessed me, buoyed me up, and gave me the strength to get through this.

And in the end, after learning yesterday, that I don't have cancer, and that my disease is manageable, that I don't have to get my throat slit by a surgeon, I know, that even if it were the worst news imaginable, I could live through it because I have people who love me.

Amen.

Wordless Wednesday

Happy 6th Birthday TJ!!

I love you Tigerman!

2008

2005

2008

2006

2008

2007

2006

Happy Birthday!!

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

100 Things I Love

Random Sherisms and Random Tunes

I love the internet. Obviously. But, I really, especially love Google. Google is my new best friend, and my confidant, and my personal guru, and my diagnostic genius. See, I can type in something like "why do I feel like crap all the time?" and it will come up with a list of ideas to help me figure out what my problem is.

In fact, it wasn't some brilliant medical professional that diagnosed my condition. Yep, it was Google. Thank you! Of course, Google came with me to my appointments and gave clues to the "genius" of a doctor who "diagnosed" me.

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So, the other day, after getting test after test, and no results, and after calling my doctor so many times, and leaving so many messages that I was probably looking at a restraining order in my near future, I finally decided to be sneaky. And I made a secret appointment with my doctor's receptionist without telling her what I needed to be seen for. I'm so sneaky!!

When, I got there, the nurse, saw me, and said, "Oh, I was going to call you!" Yeah, sure you were.

My doctor then told me I needed to do this radioactive something or other test, and I said you already ordered that. I had it done last week, I'm here for the results. Dumbass.

After waiting for my doc to blow smoke and piddle around, he finally came back and said you have a nodule on your thyroid. It might be cancerous, but whatever, we're going to let you wait for another month before you can get in to see the specialist.

No big deal. It's not at all scary that you may or may not have cancer. Who cares, right?

**************

So, this is about what I look like now. I've lost upwards of 30 pounds, only my eyes are bulging out of my head, and my neck is three times its normal size. Seriously, I Am HOT!!

Ok, the picture might be a tiny exaggeration. But still.....my test results suggest that my thyroid is very prominent.

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Obviously, this illness is consuming me. It may or may not be because I am completely self-absorbed and think of anyone or anything else. Or maybe it's because I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired all the time.

I have to be honest, I kind of feel stupid because it's not all that uncommon, and it could be a lot worse, but I'm just sick (no pun intended) of it!

***************

This post sounds like a major complain session. Well, that's because it is.

I'm currently taking volunteers who would be willing to take a shift of having my symptoms for a little while. I wouldn't mind a little break.

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And to top it all off, my Ipod broke. I thought it was my car attachment thingy, so I went and bought a newer more expensive one to replace it. Only it also doesn't work with my Ipod. So, I figure it's my Ipod that doesn't work. Boo!!

So, instead of using that for my random music list, I'm just randomly scouring the internet for good songs. Here goes........

1. 3 Am - Matchbox 20

2. Who Knew - Pink

3. Linger - Cranberries

4. Baby Got Back - Sir Mixx a Lot ( hahahahaa!)

5. Smells Like Teen Spirit - Nirvana (Oh, that takes me back)

6. Man On the Moon - R.E.M.

7. Every Little Thing She Does is Magic - The Police

8. Supermassive Black Hole - Muse

9. White Wedding - Billy Idol

10. Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds - The Beatles

That's all. Bye.