Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Save me! Save Me! I'm Dying!


I was going to do a top 10 list to prove I'm not crazy, but I couldn't think of 10 things proving I'm sane.

So, I'm on this anti-thyroid medication. (By the way, I did finally get my prescription refilled). And I'm not sure if I've mentioned that my doc told me all about the side effects, one of which is this really rare complication that basically causes a horrible bone marrow infection and I could die. And the symptoms? Low grade fever and sore throat. If I get those symptoms, I should go straight to the ER and get admitted for treatment. Or die. No biggie.

Well, Friday I saw my husband for like 5 hours, he was in town for maybe 24--most of which he was working/sleeping. We decided while he was in town we'd go out to dinner. I got all dolled up, hired a babysitter, and we drove into Salt Lake for a night on the town. The moment we got in the car I was feeling queasy. I figured it was my regular empty stomach nausea. (That's a real thing people, it's the reason I have to constantly eat all day.) So, once we got to the restaurant, and I started eating, I felt much better. But, half way home, the queasy turned into more of a full blown If-I-don't-throw-up-soon-I-might-die sort of feeling (is there a word for that?) I made it almost home. We had to pull over in front of the neighbor's house around the corner and I threw up all over their gutter (sorry neighbor!).

Sorry, I didn't mean for that to turn into a play by play of my vomiting skills.

Anyway, no harm, no foul, I was probably just poisoned. You know, by the people who are out to get me. (See? Not CRAZY!)

The hubs left again on Saturday,
But, then, Sunday night, after sleeping all day, and not going to church, I decided to break the Sabbath and go to Mickey D's so my kids wouldn't starve all day. (This is completely excusable by the simple fact that my husband had been out of town for like 2 weeks straight and I was totally checked out). Well, I think I was cursed for it or something because not a full hour after we got home I started getting a sore throat.

Of course, I laid in bed all night fretting, should I go to the ER, should I call someone at 3am to come stay with my kids, so I can go to the hospital? What if I die in my sleep, and my husband comes home after a long work trip to find me dead in my bed and my children wailing and gnashing their teeth, surrounding their dead mother. (Actually, that wouldn't happen. If I died, KJ would totally assume the role, and they would all live happily ever after. She is very nurturing.)

So, here I am, sitting here, typing this message, terrified for my life. I have lost my ability to speak, or swallow. I'm pretty sure, that at this moment, my whole body is eating itself inside out, and when you find me, I'll be nothing but a shell of the person I once was.

RIP


I am NOT a hypochondriac! Say it with me...I am NOT.....

Crazy.

16 comments:

Miss Daisy said...

I'm so sorry, here you are feeling terrified and sick and I'm laughing as I'm reading your post. I totally loved your cartoon because it is my sister to a "T". However, I take a medication that can cause a serious life-threatening-eat-through-your-skin rash and I was freaking the other day when I saw a rash on my tummy. It turned out just to be dry skin :) If you get worse, you probably should go to the doctor. It's probably best to rule things out.

2busy said...

Well, maybe a little crazy. But, aren't we all?

Sherrie said...

I am not sure whether to laugh or freak out. The humor you put into this post is great but at the same time it could be something serious and then I shouldn't laugh! Maybe you should at least call the doctor just to be sure?

Hilary said...

I think the key is the low grade fever...
Just watch for that. Sore throats come and go, but it's gotta be somethin' special for me to get a fever.

Mormon Mommy Blogs said...

Did you draw that picture of our last conversation? Because seriously, Doode!!

That was it. VERBATIM.

(go to the DR already. I'll watch your kids.)

~motherboard

DeNae said...

I'm with MB, except the part about watching your kids, unless you come to see a specialist here in Vegas! I'll even feed them rice with butter, because I know that's their favorite!

Feel better soon, and no, I think we've ruled out insanity as a cause of all of this. An effect, maybe...

The Garden of Egan said...

Call the doc, that's what they get paid for.

Kristina P. said...

GO TO THE DAMN DOCTOR!! Seriously, I know you aren't faking it. You need to take care of yourself!

AS Amber said...

Y'know, I wish that if Kristina had an opinion she'd just say it for heaven's sake! Stop beating around the bush, Kristina P.

I hope you feel better soon, hun!!

H&H

Jo said...

You are NOT crazy, at least no more than the rest of us!

Erin said...

I'm so worried about you! Please take care of yourself. And I wish I lived closer so I could help.

Natalie said...

I worry about dying while my husband is gone too! What would my kids do? You can call me at 3 am to watch your kids, I'm not kidding I would be there in a heartbeat.

wendy said...

Oh dear, I don't know whether to laugh(about the being nuts thing) --or cry?
Or plan a trip to Utah for your memorial.

seriously Sher, don't take any of your symptoms lightly, if you are worried GO CHECK IT OUT.

Do you want to come up here and have a rest in the country. I'll nurse ya. ------I mean be your nurse, NOT NURSE YOU.

Mikki said...

Oh my gosh. First I'm laughing at your post, while at the same time I'm seriously worried about ya', and then I read your comments and I'm laughing again. You have a well rounded blog my friend. And seriously, Wendy's comment cracked me up.
SO anywho, PLEASE take motherboard up on her offer and just go get checked out. Much better to feel a little dumb but still be alive than try to feel not dumb and be dead.
AND your are so not crazy. I think we all go through that thought process to some extent. I never know if I should take my kids in, or ride it out, if I should take myself in or just suck it up.
Please do take care of yourself! ♥♥

Roger and Stephnie said...

I am so sorry that you are feeling so sick all the time... with no husband around to help out a lot. You deserve some serious blessings-- I am so impressed, you have a tough job. I think by now, I would be living on my parents couch letting them take care of my kids while I laid there all day! I hope you get things figured out and back to normal soon!

M-Cat said...

Gosh, you are making me laugh, and then I feel guilty for laughing while you are feeling awful.

For the record, I could totally be the president of the hyprchondriac club. My husband would be be VP. We are bat-shiz crazy at our house