What's strange is that from one day to the next those feelings can change so quickly. Other days, I wonder how I can possibly put one step in front of the other. How can I possibly keep moving forward? Some days, I feel like the pressure of life is weighing down on me so heavily that I feel I'm being crushed into nothing. Those are the days I forget how much I'm blessed, and I simply just want to walk away from it all.
It frightens me how easily I am swayed from one side to the other in a matter of a few hours. And thinking about this over the last few hours has brought me to a simple conclusion.
The days when I feel the richness and joy of my blessings, and find reason to show gratitude are the days when the Spirit is with me. And when I lose those feelings, and start spiraling downward into thoughts of self-doubt and fear, those are the days when Satan is working his hardest to chase away the Spirit. My Spirit.
Some time ago, I had a conversation with my ever so wise and spiritual baby sister. She told me simply that whenever she has feelings like this, she just says: "Bugger off, Satan. You have no business in my head." Just like that.
And I've been thinking about how negligent I tend to be when things are sailing smoothly. How would I feel if my children only came to me when they desperately needed something? If they didn't come to me just to give me a hug and tell me they love me? I would be devastated.
It's never occurred to me before to consider my Father in Heaven's feelings, when I neglect to kneel to Him in prayer, unless I need something. I am His child. He wants me to come to Him. Every day. Good or Bad. He wants to be there for me. To comfort me, to console me when I'm in pain. And to rejoice with me in my successes.
How can I keep from forgetting this important, and essential thing in my life--Prayer?
I think I'd better start making my bed.
Wow. I seriously logged on today to vent. To whine and complain about how sad and sorry my life is, and that is what came out. Talk about being overcome by the Spirit. Talk about divine intervention.
I'm hearing in my head something like this: Come on, Sher. Snap out of it. Quit complaining, and come on. Let's talk about it.
I know my Heavenly Father loves me.
How do I move on from that?
wiping tears, taking deep breaths....
Last week I mentioned about getting my hair cut. Well, obviously you didn't hear from me about the after picture. That's because I cancelled my appointment. I ran my 17 miles last Saturday, and my choice was either skip showering and go straight to my appointment. (Ew). Or cancel the appointment and take a nice long hot shower after my run. The choice was obvious.
So, I've rescheduled it for this Saturday. I'm planning on doing a short run (10-12 miles) so I can make it to my appointment.
I'm leaning toward keeping it long. I'm chicken. I don't want to have a mushroom head if I cut it short. Remember I have naturally curly hair. There's no predicting how it might decide to react to being cut. It could frizz out in protest.
We'll see.....I'll post after pictures later.
I'm also very, very excited for a very special, secret lunch I have scheduled tomorrow, with three very special ladies. One of whom I've only ever met through blogging, but whom I absolutely adore. One I've only met once, and upon meeting, I'd never read her blog, but instantly loved her. We've come to know each other, since, and have become great friends. And one I've known for quite a while, and hope to know for many, many years to come, who has become of my best friends.
Here's to great friends, and good food. And an excuse to bring out my flask (which I've learned is a little socially taboo in public places--even if it's only filled with grenadine syrup).
My goal today is to get out of my pajamas. Maybe before the kids get home from school.....
When C leaves town (yes, he is out of town again, this weekend), my motivation leaves with him. I'll have to tell him to let me keep it next time he goes.
Here are some tunes.......if I can find my Ipod:
1. Like a Star - Corrine Bailey Rae
2. Conviction of the Heart - Kenny Loggins
3. Straight Tequila Night - John Anderson
4. High Enough - Damn Yankees
5. Love is Here to Stay - Harry "Sweets" Edison
6. Nothing - Edie Brickell and the New Bohemians
7. Good Enough - Sarah Mclachlan
8. Night to Remember - Shedaisy
9. A Horse with No Name - America
10. I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For - U2
bonus: Voilet Hill - Coldplay
Obviously, I need some new music. There isn't a song on that list that is less than 10 years ago (except the bonus song). I guess I'm just stuck on the 90's.