Don't worry, it's just another session of filing complaints with the universe. Just needing to get some things out.
Maybe it's because it seems like everyone I know either has a baby, just had a baby, is having a baby, or at least still has a fertile womb in which they could possibly have a baby. Life isn't fair. Why am I so baby hungry? Why can't I just accept my fate that I am no longer capable of carrying children, and be happy with the three beautiful, healthy children that I have?
The irony is that at the same time I am feeling like a ginormous failure as a mother. K is struggling with friends. T is struggling with friends. Both have been dealing with different types of bullying, and I'm at a complete loss. Someday...okay, mostdays.....I wish I could be a fly on the wall at their school, and just watch, so I know what's really going on. And I actually feel guilty for not being popular or cool enough as an adult, so that my kids can have friends. And for not being intuitive enough to know how to help them. What do I do?
B, who was so excited to go to Kindergarten, refuses to have anything to do with anything that has to do with school work. Forget writing her name, or actually do her homework, which entails writing a single letter three times. Yesterday was the letter A. She threw herself on the ground, kicking and screaming. It was an all out brawl. She was crying, I was crying.
Then, C came home, being the only sane parent in this family, and within 5 minutes he had B holding a crayon, and writing the letter A. Maybe I should go to work, and he should be the at home parent.
And I'm feeling lonely. It's stupid. It's that busy time of year...well, one of them. And I feel like all of my friends have dropped off the face of the planet. Or maybe, I did. I haven't even seen my Mom since mid-August.
I could really use an evening of girl talk, chocolate and senseless fits of laughter.
And maybe a nap.