This week has whizzed by so fast. And I am exhausted. Laying around all day, shirking your responsibilities, avoiding housework, and neglecting your children is really exhausting.
Ok, maybe I haven't actually been that bad. But that's how I've felt. Somehow the depression bug didn't bite me in January. Probably because it was sunny.
Well, it has surely been biting me the last two weeks. This week especially.
Yesterday, I was really stressed out.
First, I got up at 4:00 A.M. to run 9 miles (I sure the lack of sleep might have something to do with my mood), thinking, I've got to get my butt in gear, and start exercising. It was hard. I guess when you go all week without doing anything, and eating crap all day, you get out of shape. Who knew?
Then, after taking all the monkeys to school, I went to KJ's school (where I volunteer every Thursday). I talked to the office about signing TJ for Kindergarten, got all the necessary paperwork.
Then, after preschool, I took TJ to the doc for his Kindergarten shots. First we went to the wrong office, because I was sure I specified the doctor and the office I wanted that is in my town, but no, our appointment was with another doctor, in another town. So we had to drive all the way there, got dirty looks and comment for being late. It was all good though, because the nurse had a British accent, and I liked hearing her talk. And the doc was nice. TJ was a total and complete drama queen about his shots. I don't even think KJ cried when she got her shots.
So, the rest of the day, he walked around all straight legged, like a zombie, because of his "hurt legs." I gave him some motrin and sent him to bed.
Anyway, we had just enough time after the doc to eat a sandwich, then went to karate. (Yes, I made TJ do karate after getting shots---I'm such a mean Mom).
After that I taught a piano lesson (I still teach my neice). KJ brought a friend home from school. Homework. After school snacks. Laundry.....
Then, my insurance agent called me. Crap. The saga continues....apparently the freak somehow got my info, and personally called my insurance company. Maybe I'm mistaken, but isn't it usually protocol to call your own insurance company, who then, in turn, calls the other insurance company for you? Creepy. Anyway, I told them my side of the story. He told me he was worried, because if the dude files a claim, then I could have an accident on my record. I said, but I didn't hit him. Then I told him about how he didn't get out to check for damage, but immediately started chasing me, and he said, well, that changes things. So, I spent the rest of the night worrying about it. I even tried to call the police to amend my report, to let them know the dude is stalking me. Following me to tumbling, which by the way, is interesting because he didn't have a child in his car when he showed up. It is apparent that he came JUST to talk to me. I'm considering filing a restraining order. I just want it to go away.
I can't believe that almost hitting someone could cause this much drama.
Then, last night C went to the Jazz game, and I sat and watched TV all night. It was a late game, so I was in bed before he got home. So, I sat in bed, worrying, and festering, and thinking, he's not going to get much sleep tonight. And he has to wake up extra early and drive to one of his company's stores that is 3 hours from here in the morning. What if he gets in an accident? What if he dies? I had myself totally freaked out last night.
Today, I'm still feeling that tightness in my chest, that looming cloud of doom. Anxiety.
See, that's how I know I've got the crazy bug because of all my irrational thoughts.
Sorry, if you didn't want my day's play by play. But I'm venting here. And this is my journal, so I'm writing for me.
Ok, I'm a little discouraged about the numbers who have entered my giveaway. If I can't even get more than 30 people to want my CD for free, how am I going to sell thousands of copies, and go platinum? Come on, people! Tell your Friends! If this is an indication of how few copies I will sell, then I am considering just doing a homemade version and selling off what I have, and calling it good. There's no way I will break even if I have a professional cover done, and only sell 30 copies. I figured out recently that I have to sell at least 100 to break even. Is it worth it?
I don't know.
I'm feeling discouraged.
I lost a follower today. I know I shouldn't let it bother me, but it does. I just want people to like me. And I can't help wondering who and why.
p.s. I have more followers than entries into my drawing. If everyone that is following me entered the giveaway, I might feel a little better about myself. (hint, hint)
Come on, it's free stuff!
Let's see, what else can I complain about today? I'm just a giant boob today. Ok, that didn't come out right. Although, I'm sure C would appreciate that....
By the way, did one of you link to me about my post in December about Depression? All of sudden this week, I've been getting comments, and people visiting that post. Just curious where all the traffic is coming from all of sudden.
On a brighter note, I am overjoyed to announce that my little KJ has entered into the realm of ABBA fanhood. I couldn't be more proud. Everytime we get in the car, she grabs the Ipod, and puts on ABBA and totally ROCKS OUT!
Thank you, makers if Mamma Mia, for being the awesome music of ABBA to the world, and my little girl.
Thank you for the music! ☺
Here's my random 10 list of tunes for Friday:
1. They Rage On - Dan Seals
2. Uninvited - Alanis Morissette
3. Lost? - Coldplay
4. I Get Weak - Belinda Carlisle
5. I Have a Dream - ABBA
6. Breathless - Corrine Bailey Rae
7. They All Laughed - Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong
8. Under Pressure - Queen & David Bowie
9. Last Dollar (Fly Away) - Tim McGraw
10. Please - The Kinleys
Bonus: No One Mourns the Wicked - Kristen Chenoweth