Language... has created the word "loneliness" to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word "solitude" to express the glory of being alone. - Paul Tillich
Don't you love that quote? My visiting teacher sent it to me yesterday. It's perfect for what I'm going through right now. I really wish I'd know about it before I produced my CD "Solitude." It perfectly explains the reasoning being the title of my song Solitude. I called it that because if those few precious moments that I do have as a mother, to sit down and write.
Yesterday, I was lonely. I sat on my butt all day, watching basically nothing on TV. Just flipping through the channels all day. I completely wasted the day away doing absolutely nothing.
Today, instead of wallowing is self pity and loneliness, I decided to get up, and actually take a shower and make myself worth something. There's nothing like getting cleaned up to make you feel better. And I decided to enjoy my solitude.
I went to the movies. And know, that's not much, but at least I got out. And on my way out, I helped a guy and his son in the hotel parking lot jump start their truck. All the while, I tried keeping my distance, because of course, I am still radioactive. It felt good to help someone else besides myself for a change.
Then, I went to the theater, and saw New Moon. I took extra care to find a seat a good distance from other people. It wasn't too hard, because I deliberately went to the first showing of the day.
Then, I came back to the hotel, and got all of my Christmas presents wrapped, while I watched Julie & Julia.
I know it seems like all I'm doing is watching movies, but I feel productive.
Honestly, as much as I'm enjoying my solitude, I am definitely looking forward to going home tomorrow. I miss C. And I miss my monkeys.