Saturday, March 29, 2008

Bad Day

I think I might be Bipolar or something. I was just reviewing my last few posts, and it seems like we've had a lot of good days recently.
But, today, was a bad day.
Oh, nothing really bad happened. I think I'm just going crazy. I had a total breakdown today. I haven't felt this crappy in a long time. Poor Clint. I'm sure he get sick of my whining.
It does seem like every Saturday, everything comes to a point...and the week's crazy activities finally get to me.
I ran 14 miles this morning...my goal was to do 16. I'm getting really nervous for this marathon. I'm having a hard time increasing my miles.
Clint says I'm tired and sad today because I'm slowly starving to death. I cheated last night and ate some bread and some turkey. I thought maybe I should eat something since I was doing a long run today. I came home and crashed. Tried to sleep, but Clint went to get a haircut, and I'm sorry, but there is no such thing as a nap with three monkey's in the house.
My poor children were totally neglected all day. I think the weekends are hard on them, because by the time Saturday comes, I'm so exhausted, and by the time I get home from running, I just crash. Every Saturday.
The only reason I'm up right now, is the fact that my children needed to eat (Clint went to a Blaze game tonight), so I took 4 ibuprofens (just enough to get me out of bed without the world spinning too much). The kids ate cold cereal for dinner.

I don't know why the last month has been so hard. Yes, I've had my good days, but I'm just do damn tired all the time, and I feel like the biggest loser of a mother on the planet. I'm mad all the time, tired all the time, everything irritates me.
I know my kids and husband deserve more than this. Why is it so freakin' hard?

My stupid anti-anxiety pills are totally worthless (they might work better if I actually took them regulary), but I took one about 2-3 days ago, because I could feel the pressure building, and it didn't work. It's been awhile since I refilled my prescription. I wonder if they're expired

So, now you know.. Sherrie's crazy and need medication to be normal.

Maybe I'm just going through sugar withdrawal. I'm about ready to give in. But, honestly, I'm not really craving sugar at all. I'm not even that hungry anymore. Just feel like laying in bed and sleeping for the rest of my life.

5 comments:

Elizabeth said...

You sound like me all the time. I'm always feeling sorry for my family, especially with me being pregnant. I'm crazy too!!! In the last month, I backed out of my church callings, volunteering in Ethan's class, and most family functions, because I feel so overwhelmed and crazy all the time. When it's REALLY bad, I just have to remember that it will go away--with time. I think? Well, some days are better than others! I'm totally impressed you're preparing for a marathon. From what I've heard, that can really wear you down mentally, too. Hang in there! :)

Jill said...

Thanks for leaving a comment on my blog, it is fun to see your cute family and all the things you have been doing. My son loves the Jazz post. It will be fun to keep in touch. I did not know you were Staci's cousin.

Elisa said...

OK. First the lecture from a fellow crazy... YOU HAVE TO TAKE YOUR MEDICINE EVERY SINGLE DAY... in order for it to work when you have those crazy days! (trust me I know! remember, I am the queen of the crazies, and i have tried more than once to only take my meds on an "as needed basis". Doesn't work girlfriend!)

Secondly, WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL ME??
I totally get where you are coming from! I think that Clint is probably right... you are starving to death. The whole "you and your colon" deal can wait until after the marathon!

You are an amazing person! We all see it! Don't sell yourself short! You have 3 kids under 6... thats H.A.R.D!

Keep your chin up! I'm here if you need a shoulder!
xoxo

Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear you've been having a hard time lately. Chocolate seems to work for me when I get like that. And I am so impressed that you are training for a marathon. Which one? And Clint is probably right about the food. Some good sesame chicken is probably all you need--Chang's Chopstix by Smith's in Farmington is our favorite!

Barney Family Blog said...

Amen to Peggy and Motherboard. Sesame chicken does sounds good. You need to eat something for your physical energy and emotional. Just do your cleansing after your marathon. You need all the ebergy you can get! When I feel tired I feel crappy. You are better than you think you are.