I've had a few moments in recent days when I feel like my life is a constant downward spiral. When did I completely lose control?
Last night at the birthday party, I had a brief moment of complete and utter panic. Anxiety. All of sudden everything just blurred and all I could hear was the blended blur of noise coming from the 20 people in my house. Then it was all I could see to stay in the room. At that moment I really, really wanted to go in my bedroom and go to bed. I don't do very well playing hostess. But, I do it, on occasion, for the people. The crazy thing is that it was just our families, and our good friends. I shouldn't feel that pressure to impress people. And, trust me, I didn't take very drastic measures to impress them. I just got a little stressed about the noise and the crowd.
Maybe I'm agoraphobic.
And then, this morning, Peter came in my bed at about 5am. She does this EVERY night, and I'm getting soooooo sick of it. And I was really tired, because I stayed up all night reading everyone's secrets on this site. Boy, you people are messed up! (Just kidding, please don't hate me)
So, at 7 this morning, both she and TJ woke up and were just whining at me. And I completely lost it! Ranting and raving, SCREAMING like a lunatic. The irony is that I was throwing a tantrum, yelling at Peter to stop having a tantrum. Huh.....I wonder where she's learned it from? Hmmmm.......
I went to the gym this morning, and burned some cal, and kicked up my endorphins, so I feel a little better. Then, I ate some cookies. Back down again. Crap. I was doing so well.
Ok, so, I've gotten some bloggy award things. Thank you to Wonderwoman, and Motherboard, who both awarded me with this:
And Motherboard also awarded me with these:
And this is from Thing 1 (Motherboard's daughter)
Thanks you guys. After the crazy lady came in a took over, this was just what I needed to pick me up!
I would also like to award: Andrea (even though Motherboard already awarded you, I love your blog), Mikki (a wonderful friend, who I've never met in person, but would really like to someday), Forney Four (my lovely friend from HS, that I reconnected with through blogging, and always cracks me up), and Mother Goose (who never fails to inspire me with all her wisdom)
Here's to a good week. And now, I need to go practice.....because I start recording tomorrow!!!