Monday, August 4, 2008

Crazy and Crazier

Ok, yeah, I kind of had a rough week, last week.
Of course it started out, with me feeling like know, with being sick and all.
Tuesday morning, I thought I'd get up for a run, to see if I could just "sweat it out" It was a hard run, and I kept saying to myself, "I hate this, why am I doing this?"
A little side note about running. Normally, I LOVE to run. I feel great when I run. It's exhilerating getting up at 4:30 in the morning (yeah, it HAS to be that early to get the miles in before the heat, and before the hubby has to leave for work), working up a sweat, stretching out my muscles, getting my heartrate up. And usually, when I come home, I feel so good for having accomplished something, and I get a ton done in the morning because the monkeys are still sleeping.

Well, Tuesday, I wanted to DIE after my run. By the way, sweating on a very raw nose (from blowing it all weekend) hurts. Running while your face is full of snot hurts, too. Oh, and running when you didn't sleep all night because you couldn't breath, hurt EVERYWHERE!

So, I came home from my run, to discover that my 4-year-old had left the freezer in the garage open all night long. We lost probably $1200 worth of food. AAARRRRRRGGHHHH!!!!!!!

Wednesday, well you read that post.
Oh, but what I didn't tell you was that my kids took a bath in my bathtub in my master bedroom on Wednesday night. When suddenly, Clint comes running up the stairs, saying what are the kids doing in there!!
The kids tend to splash a little bit, but I didn't think that would cause it to

Yep, so now, I have no meat to eat, and I can't have a bath.

Saturday, I decided I needed to do a long run, since I slacked the last two weeks. So, I set out to do 13, and ended up doing 15 miles. yeah, I should be proud of myself. I felt great at 12, pretty good at 13, Okay at 14, and like CRAP at 15.
But, I came home, showered, took KJ to swimming lessons, went the grocery store, then Sam's club (with all the kids by the way), came home, and CRASHED.
I probably slept for 3 hours.
Then, I woke up, and had a total and complete nervous breakdown.
It's been building all week. All month actually. I don't think anyone realizes how truly sick I am. I'm not talking about the sinus infection, people. I'm talking about the crazy. This IS a sickness. A debilitating, humiliating, emotionally draining sickness, that I can't seem to overcome. Everything seems so overwhelming...even the simplest the dishes. There have been many times this last month that I've thought I'm done, I want to quit. I'm just going to walk away. But, then where would I go?
I do feel like there is an internal battle going on inside me. A little argument between my crazy self, and my normal logical self. My crazy self is very cunning and overbearing, and it seems she usually wins.
But then, I started thinking, maybe this isn't my crazy self. This is Satan telling my to think all of these horrible things about myself.
So, now I say this:
Satan! Bugger off. You have no business being in my head, So GET OUT!

Wow, I feel better now.
Sorry, for the crazy talk. I had to get it off my chest.


Nick and Stacey said...

Oh my goodness I cannot believe your crazy week, I am so sorry! I still think you are amazing for getting up and going running! I hope this week goes alot better! It seems like when it rains it pours...eventually it stops raining, for a little bit...I hope!

Jodip12 said...

Hi there, Guess what I think...we all have a little crazy in us...we just express it different ways! I know I'm crazy all the time...I get the looks! Anyways hope it gets better and it will cuz Friday is going to rock!

Anonymous said...

I think if I had a freezer full of wrecked food and a leaking floor and a cold I'd feel the same way. Sorry it was a rotten week for you--here's to hoping it gets better. And I am still AMAZED by your running. Amazed, amazed, amazed!


The Motherboard said...

My crazy lady snuck out of her closet too. I thought I had her chained pretty tight, but somehow she jimmyed those chains! Sheesh.

I want to blame the moon. Shall we? Lets! I had a bad week too, but You win. $1200 in freezer stuff would make my crazy lady completely take over.

I'm sorry. Here's to a better week!

Natalie said...

Crazy must run in the family. I am all sorts of crazy! At least you don't talk to yourself like I do. Seriously though maybe you should talk to your doctor. There are a lot of medications out there with minimal side effects that might help out until you are back to 100 percent. Keep your chin up because school is almost back in session and that makes every Mom happy.

Smith Family said...

It seems like you guys always have trouble with your freezers. That really sucks! I hope you start feeling better. We really need to get together before the kids go back to school.

Mikki said...

Hi there! I stumbled across your blog through my google reader. Just wanted to say,"sorry you had a crappy week!". I think it's going around though. The crazy part definitely is. I'm having a give-away on my blog, come by and enter, maybe you'll win and that'll help ya' feel better! :o)

Angela said...

I don't blame you for one second. I know exactly what you mean (and I don't even have monkeys in my household yet). So much to juggle, limited time, being sick, and so on. I hope things look up soon!

The Forney Four said...

ohhhhh darlin'... I feel your pain. I'm so sorry.

And seriously, 15 miles? UHM WHAT??!!!! I was psyched today with just my one mile. Yeah, I"m cool like that.

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

holy crap-a-moly!!!

What a BAD WEEK!!

You poor we say here in the South

"Bless Your Little Heart!"

Things will get better...we all have MENTAL days....even MENTAL weeks!!!

Hope things get better SOON!!!!

By the way...i think it is pretty dern awesome that you can RUN 15 miles!!! I wish i could run to the end of my Driveway!!!! ((and it is only like 70 feet long!!!))

The Motherboard said...

See?! You are loved! don't give up yet!

Lots of love!