Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Potty Talk




WARNING: You are about to enter a hazardous complaining zone. Proceed with caution!

Today is clean bathrooms day. I hate this day. Many of you may already know that I hate, I mean really, really HATE cleaning bathrooms. In the worst way. With a passion. I'd rather die, than clean bathrooms. Recently, Motherboard and I made a deal that she'd clean my bathrooms if I fold her her laundry.

Motherboard, where were you today? Huh? I thought you had my back!

But it's gotta be done. Nothing sucks more than cleaning up sh**...I mean crap.
(p.s. if you didn't know this about me already, one of my weaknesses is that sometimes I'm tempted to swear. Especially, when I'm particularly ornery, like after scrubbing toilets)

I have made a few observations today, while completing the dastardly task, and I need some answers.

1) My 3 year old LOVES to scrub toilets. Why do they love to clean when they're little, and then refuse to do it when they're old enough to do it right? WHY?!!



She likes to take the toilet brush, dip it in the sh** water, and drip it all over the house. The floor on my bathroom afterward is quite hazardous. She discovered this, after "scrubbing" the toilet, and slipped and fell on her keester. (How do you spell ceester, quister, chzixysther?)

2) While a tile shower may look all stylish and beautiful, it totally SUCKS to clean. There is some seriously funky junk growing in the grout. NAST!

3) Why, when I have a water softener, does my shower still get hard water spots on the glass. And why can't I get this off, even after mondo effort and scrubbing. (note: I may have mentioned that I hate cleaning, and I may or may not take a lazy approach to it). If anyone has any insight and how to remove hard water spots (the lazy way), let me know.

4) I don't know why, but cleaning bathroom makes me hungry. I am ravenously famished right now. Except the problem is that the cleaner smell sticks with me the rest of the day, after cleaning, and disgusts me so much that it ruins my appetite. I feel like if I eat after I clean, I'm poisoning myself with Clorox cleanup, even though I have washed my hands afterward.

5) My bathtub has little blue smudges on it. And no amount of scrubbing or cleaner can get these little smudges off. What is this from? I can't figure it out. What have my kids gotten on their bodies, that cause little blue smudges on the bottom of the bathtub?

Now that you know all of my little bathroom secrets, do you have any insightful answers to my little potty mysteries?

22 comments:

Angela said...

I am SO with you on cleaning toilets - disgustorama! Lucky for us, last night the YW in our ward were doing a service scavenger hunt and hadn't completed the "wash the toilet" or "wash the bathtub" tasks yet... so you'd better believe I put them to work! So nice that I didn't have to touch either of those nasty things - although I still have the shower to look forward to...

Merrianne said...

HA HA! you are so funny Sher! i love your sense of humor!!!!

and i don't like cleaning toilets, either....who the heck does???

Good Luck With That CRAPPY job!!!

wonder woman said...

Yuck. Cleaning bathrooms. Unfortunately, I don't think I've cleaned them enough to develop a dire hatred. I usually do it when someone's coming to my house that hasn't been there before and I'm looking to impress them. Well, not with the cleanliness of my bathroom. I doubt that would EVER be impressive. I'm hoping to not disgust them. So I'll scrub the toilet, wipe down the tub, and get the dust and hard water off the sink. (I have NO idea what you should do about your hard water.)

I wiped down my kitchen counters today and wanted a snack afterward but the stench of the cleaner was too strong on my hands for me to eat. --So I can relate to you.

Mikki said...

I hate the bathroom too. Mine goes for a couple weeks usually without a good cleaning. I'll hit the toilet when it starts to look gross though. My Haley likes to do the toilet too.
Maybe CLR for hard water stuff? I don't know how well it works though. I ended up taking my shower doors of and just putting up a curtain because I was tired of trying to keep it looking nice.
could the blue smudges be ink? Maybe try nail polish remover on it, unless you think it might mess up the finish. I've used it around my bathroom sink when Ashley has gotten carried away with the nail polish.
Good luck!

Love Fam said...

Oh..you clean your toilets, am I suppose to do that? Ha, just kidding I hate it to. But thanks again for last night it was way fun!!

The Motherboard said...

I was folding laundry today... i totally would have cleaned your bathrooms if you would've come and folded my laundry. How you feel about bathrooms is how I feel about laundry! For reals.
=

Soft scrub. I am telling you its the miracle cleaner! It gets hard water smudges off! I put it all over my shower door, then take a shower (you will hate this) and use a dish scrubber thinger and scrub the glass in the shower. seriously amazing! then... to keep junk from growing on your tile... lemon dusting oil. It can't be the spray has to be the oil.(don't do this on the floor... your arse will be sore!) It repels the water.

I know. How freaky am I?? Freaky-deeky!

The Motherboard said...

ps. my word verification for the last comment was fix jil. What is wrong with jil? Is she broken? What??

The Forney Four said...

Okay, the swearing thing HILARIOUS!!!! and that cute girl of yours being cinderella and scrubbing the toilets EVEN FUNNIER!!! I'm totally cracking up.

My husband gets to clean the bathrooms at our house.

Meldrum Mob said...

You are so funny! I am one of those crazy people that like to clean bathrooms, not that I like too, but I just like the way it looks after! But I don't like cleaning other peoples..... anyways there is this place up here in Logan called the cleaning store it has this stuff called once over it works fabulously on the glass shower doors with all of that darn hard water, my mom and I swear by it! Anyways good luck with the joy of cleaning the bathroom at least now you know you are done for another week!

Meldrum Mob said...

also the cleaner might work for your blue smudges also...who knows!

Natalie said...

I share your concern about poisining yourself after you clean which is why I avoid cleaning as much as possible. Try Kaboom on your hard water spots, you don't even have to scrub.

Jessica said...

I know what you mean! Yucky! I always complain that Nate makes the bathroom more messy than I do so he should clean it. Of course that argument doesn't work and I'm sure I make it just as messy.

We have hard water and so our glass doors get bad hard water stains. I use lime away and it gets it all off.

Natalie said...

I share your concern about poisining yourself after you clean which is why I avoid cleaning as much as possible. Try Kaboom on your hard water spots, you don't even have to scrub.

jkofford said...

Don't tell me you don't know how to pimp out your blog! You've got it all going on over here. So, down to business. I discovered something scary here today--I clean my shower in the exact, and I mean exact, same way Motherboard does and I've never met her. Weird. It works pretty well. Also, my husband now claims that he "scrubs the toilets" because he bought something called "Never Scrub" and put them in all our toilets. It actually does keep the insides sparkly for weeks and weeks. Unfortunately, I still have to clean all the gunk off the seats. It's been a while since I cleaned my bathrooms so I think you should keep the momentum going and swing on by to do mine today too. I'll be waiting.

Treasure said...

Sherrie, I'm with you on hating bathroom duty. Your brave to let your kids in the bathroom to help you. I lock myself in there and get the job done- without the help of little hands. Off the subject of toilets, I had such a fun time at Mama Mia. We have to have girls night more often! And your cd is AMAZING!!! You are so talented. I wish I would of listened to my mom, and stuck with piano.

MBWheelwright said...

ha ha! i'll take you up on that, watching kids sounds so much better then doing nothing, its something right? besides, there will not be any kids at my house any time soon! I am way to young! ha but seriously, need time away, call me!

Jan said...

I hate bathrooms too. I mean I love using them and all, but just not cleaning them. When I had the boys home, it was so sick. I sometimes had to put noxema under my nose to just maintain a smell that over rode the other. I tried to teach them that the toilet was the main place to urinate, but they always prefered the floor.

Good luck with that Sher. I totally would have had your back unlike E. Joking E. I hate laundry too.

I just recieved your CD yesterday. I am going to listen to it today. Can't wait. Thanks Sher you wild thing. That comment you left on my post about condoms, I know I will probably be sued over a heart failure of some sort.

Jen K said...

Sorry, I didn't get your message about cd covers until just now. I haven't checked that site for a while.

Marivic_Little GrumpyAngel said...

You're a funny gal! And to think I almost missed this post because I've been on a week long blog break! We're soul sistahs because I hate, hate, hate, hate cleaning bathrooms, too. So does my husband so I've been stuck with the chore all these years. Sorry I don't have answers to your questions. I'm very clueless about bathrooms since I keep it out of my mind unless I'm using it or when it's time to clean it again! I have 3 full bathrooms in my house so imagine how crabby I am on bathroom cleaning days!

Chad & Tenaya said...

okay, so now I have to get off my butt, stop reading blogs and clean my bathroom. They are no fun to clean. I was trying to "forget" to clean them today. Then I start reading your blog and I am reminded of my chore today....... nasty! Here I go! Thanks a lot for the reminder.

Mother Goose said...

yes, i too tend to think in potty words. LOL, no pun intended!

atsimms said...

That was hilarious. At least your bathrooms have been dirtied by your own family. All the construction guys who are repairing my house have been using the downstiars bathroom and I think I am just going to set it on fire and build a new one before I clean it. Sick. I'm with you on this one, right down to the bad language!