I really struggled with the lesson in Gospel Doctrine yesterday. I don't exactly consider myself a scriptorian or anything, and the guy who teaches the class teaches institute at the U, so he probably knows the scripture a little better than I do. I just really disagreed with his interpretation of the message in the section we were discussing.
We were talking about Ammon, and his mission. A story I know and love. The teacher asked the class to list characteristics of Ammon, and listed them on the board. People said things like courageous, obedient, humble, strong, loyal...to name a few.
Then we opened up to Alma, to a few scriptures where Ammon is describing how he feels about himself. The teacher listed these things on the other side of the board. Among those on the list were words like nothing, weak, depressed...
Then he went on to his main theme of the entire lesson that in order to achieve the good things on the left side of the board, then we need to view ourselves as those things on the right side of the board. Basically he said that Heavenly Father wants us to view ourselves in that way, that we are just empty vessels to be used as instruments for God's work.
Don't get me wrong...I totally get where he was going with it. But I just don't agree. Maybe I'm the one who's wrong, because no one else in the room seemed to be as deeply disturbed by it as I was.
At one point in the lesson, I raised my hand and said what I was thinking. That the Lord doesn't want us to think we are nothing, that it is Satan who tells us that we are worthless, and that we just need to acknowledge God's hand in all the good the we have in us.
The teacher then, actually rebuked me, using King Benjamin as an example, who called his congregation "worthless."
After that I kept my mouth shut, but kept stewing anyway through the whole lesson.
As someone who has struggled with depression my whole life, and who is somewhat overcoming it (yeah, it's a work in progess), I just can't see how a loving Father in Heaven would desire his children to feel that low about themselves. There is a huge, HUGE difference between being depressed and having NO self esteem, and being HUMBLE. HUGE!
Am I just so way off base here? Is the Spirit so gone from me that I can't grasp this concept?
Does anyone else see it my way?