Friday, March 27, 2009

Friday's Random Sherisms, and some random tunes

Contrary to recent random posts, I actually have been thinking about a lot of stuff lately. I really should start writing these posts at the beginning of the week, though. I should just sit down and start writing while I'm thinking. That way, it's fresh, and I can remember exactly what it is I was thinking. Instead of writing the memory of my thoughts, which is sometimes faded, skewed, or incomplete. I'm still not completely convinced that I don't have Alzheimer's. How else could I explain ALWAYS forgetting stuff?

I recently had an interesting conversation with one of my favorite people about being a hypochondriac. (yes, I name drop her ALL THE TIME....because it makes me feel super, duper cool to be her friend).

No, I don't think I'm a hypochondriac. That's just ridiculous. Of course, I know I'm a relatively healthy person.

But, I'm not 100% sure that my knee zit wasn't cancerous. I mean, there's still a bump could be a tumor. And what about that headache that's been lingering for the past week or so? It might be an aneurysm, about to burst and my brain is going to literally explode. Or a brain tumor.

And since I've been researching googling hypothyroidism, I'm sure I have that, too. I mean, all the symptoms match up: unexplained (it's NOT the 20 lbs of cookies I eat weekly) rapid weight gain, chronic fatigue (hello, I'm whining about being tired all the time--it's not that I wake up at 4:30 in the morning to run my 30 miles/week), and being intolerable to cold (C has been teasing me about always been cold for years!).

You see? Hypothyroidism. I have it.
Except Motherboard pointed out that I would have a giant growth (goiter) sticking out of my neck if that was the case.

Hmmm...maybe that's why my throat has been hurting for the past couple of weeks.........

Just wait...pretty soon, I'll look like this:

Ok, perhaps, I've been having a little too much fun on WebMD.


I had a "Bad Mother Moment" yesterday. Okay more like a Bad Mother day. My crazy lady came out in full swing. Something about TJ pooping in the toilet, then putting his sister's Webkinz in the not-flushed-yet toilet. KJ lost it, I lost it. There was screaming, yelling, poop all over the place. It was the last straw in a chain of events that just pushed me over the edge, and I'd just had it!

We're still working up a punishment plan, and I haven't completely ruled out putting his own Webkinz in the toilet, but that would only mean I would have two poopy toys to wash, instead of one.


Ok, so emotionally/mentally, I've felt pretty good for the last few months. I think my last major episode was around Christmas. The crazy lady that lives in my head must have been hibernating. Well, she has really been rattling her cage this week. For the first time in several months, I've been feeling those crazy feelings creeping up. Like I'm out of control, like the walls are closing in on me, like the pressure is mounting, like I've just Got. to Get. Out. of Here.

There is simply no logical way to explain these feelings. I haven't been more stressed than usual. I haven't had extra responsibilities. To be honest, I think I do better when there's a lot to do. Keeping busy keeps my mind busy, which keeps me from thinking crazy thoughts.

So, this week, for some reason the crazy is kind of taking control.
I'm sure it is purely coincidence that my husband happens to be out of town right now.

It's also probably a coincidence that I've eaten my body weight in sugar this week, too.


My running group is doing a 17 mile run tomorrow. I'm scared. Last week we did 13, and I totally bonked at mile 10. I finished the 13, but very, very slowly. Now, we've got a 17 mile run to do tomorrow. And if I want a ride home, then I've got to make it to the end. I will be searching for every shortcut imaginable to make it shorter.

It's sad, because when we've run this route in the past, I'm usually looking for ways to make it longer. I've actually gotten almost 20 miles out of that route before, taking back roads, and run past, then back.

Goes to show where my head is at these days.


After my long run, I have a hair appointment, tomorrow. I never intend to, but it seems I always go 6 months between hair cuts. I'm due for a color. I'm very seriously considering chopping my hair short and donating it to Locks of Love.

I'm thinking something like this:

But, I'm worried it'll turn out more like this:

But, I might just keep it long.

I like this:

And this, but I would probably need extensions to pull that off, and I just don't have $1000 to spend on my hair.

I know this is a little scary, but here is my before picture:

Taken after being tugged back in a ponytail while it was still wet, and hiding under a hat all day. And no makeup. Actually, it's probably not very smart of me to post this ugly pic of myself right below all of those beautiful celebs. Very, very scary. But, hopefully, the after pic will be much better......I'll report tomorrow on that.
Speaking of music, look what I got in the mail today from my awesome friend, Tiburon!

She couldn't stand the fact that I'd never heard of Keane before (I know, I really do live under a rock). So, she burned all of their CD's, and mailed them to me! I'm having fun listening to them right now, while I write this post. I'm thinking it's a little reminiscent of U2, a little bit. I'm diggin' it.


And now, some random tunes:

1. Feels Like Tonight - Daughtry
2. Follow You Home - Nickelback
3. Rodeo - Garth Brooks
4. Hoy La Luna Sale Pare Mi - Monica Naranjo
5. Crucify - Tori Amos
6. We Are Detective - Thompson Twins
7. Situations - Jack Johnson
8. Verdi: Rigoletto - La Donna E Mobile - Luciano Pavarotti
9. Imagine - John Lennon
10. You Woman Misses Her Man - Chely Wright (for you C)
Bonus: Bring Me to Life - Evanescence


2busy said...

I'm thinking hormone imbalance, but what do I know. My crazy lady comes out once a month for about three days. HORMONES! It could also account for the weight gain and tiredness.

I like the long hair look. Just my opinion.

And that weird picture...I think it is a lymphatic malformation. I have a friend whose little boy was born like that, and there isn't much they can do. Pretty tragic actually in our day and age of medicine. So, if you don't have one already, you probably won't be growing one...(That's good news).

Have a great weekend! °Ü°

Peggy said...

I think you'd look cute with short hair. I love short hair when it is all curly and cute. Like yours. I always want mine to be short and cute but then when I cut it it is short and ugly and I can't do anything with it and I wish and wish I could get it back. But yours would be cute.

Good luck with the run. I went three miles last week and actually ran more than I walked. So that's progress. Just remember that no matter if you "bonk" or not, you'll always be a better runner than I am!

Erin said...

I want Keane cds! I'll just have to download them from iTunes or something.

And I look forward to seeing your new haircut.

And I think I know how you feel about the walls closing in on you. That happens to me a couple of times a year.

Good luck on your run!

Cynthia said...

Have you ever heard of Recovery? It's a support group for those who struggle with Panic and Anxiety Disorder. I have attended the meetings with the hubs at various times over the years and it's been tremendously helpful for both of us to learn coping mechanisms. I don't have an anxiety condition but the cognitive techniques are awesome for anyone who wants to improve how they cope with stress and worry. Here's the website for the national organization:

Good luck with the run. Holy cow. I cannot IMAGINE running that far. Maybe if I were being chased by an ax wielding zombie but even then I wouldn't make it past mile 4.

Annette Lyon said...

The thought of a 17-mile run makes me want to curl up with a bowl of ice cream. You'll do it, though!

Vanessa said...

Kids: I just want to run away from them sometimes!

Rachel said...

I'm with you on the whole 6 month thing, only I'm lucky if it happens more than once a year.

Shauna said...

You are beautiful no matter what you do :) L♥ve Ya! ♥ Hugs :)

Brooke said...

Shhh, don't tell Tib, but I've never heard of Keane until I began reading her blog. I still haven't heard any of their (his) songs. I totally understand about the depression/crazy lady thing. The first haircut is so darling! Go for it. Giving your hair to locks of love makes you feel so good! I've done it three times, and love it! Oh, and sorry about the cleaning of the poopy toy. YUCK.

Jessica said...

You always make me laugh! I think you should chop your hair off or leave it long, you will look beautiful no matter what. I know what you mean about the crazy lady. I think it's the time of year. I'm afraid mine is going to come out while I'm teaching. My class has been so difficult lately but I love em' and I only have 8 weeks left!! Yeah!!

The Boob Nazi said...

My mom has a hypothryoid, and she doesn't have that nasty bump. Don't you worry, you could totally still have it.

Motherboard said...

You are a nutball! And, don't you listen to boobie-- You do not have hypothyroidism.

I can't wait to see your haircut! You will look amazing even if you shave your head!

Heidi Ashworth said...

Hey, I don't want to gainsay motherboard BUT she is not a doctor (shocking but true!) The only way to know for sure if you are hypothyroid or not is to take a blood test. Most people who are hypothyroid do NOT have a goiter. I repeat, DO NOT. This is a very underdiagnosed disease b/c the symptoms are subtle but it is also very treatable and not a big deal unless you let it go on and on without treatment. It's one blood test. You have the symptoms. Go for it!

DeNae said...

I've looked over your symptoms carefully, read all the diagnoses on your comments page, spit into the air, sung Kum Bay Yah, and am now pretty sure you have testicular cancer. Bet no one's tested for THAT, have they? Quacks.

I get tired DRIVING 17 miles. I'm going to take a karmic nap for you, just in case. I don't really know what a karmic nap is, on account of my having just this second made it up, but I'm pretty sure it involves napping and karma, and I'm thinking we'd both be winners if I took one on your behalf.

Please, don't thank me. I'm one of life's natural helpers.

And I'm totally game for a lunch on conference weekend, Miz Sher! I'll e-mail you. We'll talk.

sleepless in cyberspace said...

It'd be hard for me to tell if your craziness and weight gain in husband-being-gone and eating-20-lbs-of-sugar related, or if it is hypothyroidism or depression related. I suggest a good old fashioned experiment. If you're not eating like crazy and husband is home and life is more normal, are you still gaining weight and feeling like the walls are closing in?

My mom has hypothyroidism, too. But she's struggled with weight for a long time. And you've always been skinny, so I don't know.

tammy said...

Tib rocks.

Love the curly hair - both short and long. why can't I get my hair to do that?

And how weird, but I'm positive I have a brain tumor and hypothyroidism too!!

wendy said...

That was alot of "thoughts" running through your mind. Sorry about the crazy lady who tries to take up residence there ---hopefully she will not be too long of a "guest" and you can be rid of her. (voices speak to me too----not the good ones, scarry (sometimes fun) ones) You're beautiful Sher and whatever you do with your hair will be AWESOME!!

Melissa said...

Love the randoms! And don't you have the funks we find ourselves in from time to time? No worries, it'll pass. Probably once this crazy weather settles into a nice pleasant spring.
I have a 10 mile run next Saturday and have NO IDEA IF I WILL MAKE IT. The longest I have ever gone is 9.2 Not sure, but guess we;ll find out. I am amazed at your 20! Really! An inspiration

Jo said...

I hope your run and your haircut were both successful!
As for the bad mommy moment, I don't blame you a bit. That would have pushed me over the edge. That is where I say, go to your room before I lose my mind.
I am going to blame the weather for your crazy lady. I don't know about you, but this week has been tough, I was so hopeful the week before with the spring weather and then it starts snowing again. I just wanted to cry. It makes me feel like winter is never going to end. HUGS you are an amazing lady, be kind to yourself.

AS Amber said...

I ran to the bathroom, once. That's the most running I've ever done.
I have hypothyroidism and I don't have a football under my neck. That's just fat.
Go to the doctor and have a Complete Metobolic Panel run. It's a blood draw and they can make sure you don't have a chemical imbalance. Thyroid or otherwise. Don't discount fatigue as being depressed. And don't underestimate stress.
I'm excited for next weekend!

tiburon said...

I am pretty sure you should stop self diagnosing. Although I do the same thing. i was CONVINCED I had ovarian cancer. Turns out - notsomuch.

I am looking forward to a full write up on your opinions of the Keane cd's complete with illustrations and a top 10 list.

bring it :)

Spence said...

TJ does the darnest things. It must be exciting to live with your youngings. Even if it drives you crazy.