It seems that since summer has started my children have developed some rather alarming health conditions, that are a great cause for concern.
For instance, all three of them have some sort of extreme selective hearing loss. I'm really worried about them. I wonder if they are malnourished, or have suffered from heat stroke that caused brain damage or something, because it seems that no matter how much I nag and yell, and nag some more, they just can't seem to hear me.
If I tell them to get dressed, turn off the TV, clean their rooms, eat their food, or anything else that has to do with anything remotely responsible, it falls on completely deaf ears.
On the other hand, if I say anything including the words play, swim, Lagoon, cookies, chocolate, or ice cream, they perk right up as if they have super hearing powers.
I just don't know what to do. I've decided to start researching alternative medical treatments to resolve my poor children's illness. Studies have shown that such drastic treatments as being grounded from the TV, scrubbing toilets, and eating massive amount of green leafy vegetables, and reading aloud have proven to show signs of improvement in selective hearing loss. Common side effects that may appear during treatment, include, but are not limited to incessant whining, complaining, pouting, sudden outbursts, melt downs, and gradual increase in productivity, and cooperation.
I'm going to start applying these treatments immediately. I'll let you know during this experimental study, if any improvements are seen.
If not, this mother is in serious danger of blowing a gasket.