Monday, April 28, 2008

Somebody Help me!!!

I think my son might have ADD or ADHD or whatever you call it. That is really, really, really, (emphasis on the REALLY) hard for me to say. I have always been of the mind that ADD is this fake, made up thing that people thought of as an excuse to get out of being responsible for their actions, and to be lazy. I hate the idea of giving any of my children, or anyone for that matter, an excuse to get out of doing what they're supposed to. But, I've been thinking.
I know a lot of people, including TJ's primary teachers, school teachers, karate sensei, friend's parents, and innocent passers-by think that he is just totally undisciplined and that I'm just a loser mom who doesn't discipline her child. I have actually had people make comments to me to that effect. Seriously. I actually had someone tell me one time, that they would never raise their kids the way I'm raising mine. I'm getting worked up right now just thinking about it. I'm not usually one to hold a grudge, but that one, I have had a really hard time getting over it. Talk about the ultimate insult to a parent!
The fact of the matter is that TJ probably get disciplined more than any other kid I know. We are VERY strict with him. He spend A LOT of time in time out, gets spanked regularly (oh so taboo, I know), and I try my hardest to give him structure and rules to follow. Tyson just doesn't respond to it, no matter how hard I try.
He just can't focus. It seems like the word I use the most in my vocabulary with Tyson is FOCUS! If he tells me he needs to go potty, he can't seem to focus long enough to make it the 10 feet from the kitchen to the bathroom without getting distracted, and ends up wetting his pants. It takes him half an hour to get dressed in the morning because he keeps forgetting what he's doing. If I tell him to clean something up, he has to keep being reminded over and over because he gets distracted so easily. He moves sooo slowly with everything he does.
But, I've been thinking. What if ADD is like Depression. There are a lot of people out there that think the depression is a fake disease, and a cop-out. And even though we hate to admit it, taking medication for it actually helps. What if ADD is like that? What if it really is something real and valid and what if putting Tyson on something would help him? It's hard, because I HATE the idea of putting my child on drugs. But, what if that's what he needs?
So, if any of you have experience or knowledge about this, I would love to hear your opinions.


Jen said...

Sherrie, I'm also glad that we ran into each other Saturday. It will be fun to keep in touch. I hear you with your kid frustrations (as we talked about Saturday), and I know nothing about ADHD, but I have a niece that was just put on medication for it and you would'nt believe the difference in school and socially. Just thought I'd let you know.

The Motherboard said...

I actually have some experience with this subject! I was diagnosed with adhd when i was in college. (that explains A LOT!!!)
And, I really think that my oldest child has it as well. I have noticed that with my daughter, and me, that my diet plays a huge part on my ability to focus, and follow through. Especially with regards to red dye consumption. I would first try to control his adhd with his diet. There are lots and lots of books that you can read about this subject. I have also found that when we eat a lot of processed foods, we have a lot more "episodes". If you want more info... call me. I can talk your ear off about this subject!!

Don't worry. you'll get it all figured out! :>)

Barney Family Blog said...

Wow sher, I wish I knew more about this. It sounds like you have great friends that can help you understand things. But I can be here for moral support because I useless otherwise

Smith Family said...

Sometimes his behavior might be the result of being a boy and being 4. But what do I know? Austin's sister's daugter was diagnosed as being ADHD, she is actually the same age as Tyson. I'm not sure if they are doing anything for her or not, I will have to find out. I guess I can be here for moral support like Kristen, sorry I'm not much help.

The Jensen Family said...

Sherrie, I thought ADD was made up too until I started teaching this little kiddo in my class this year. He is very bright and capable but he can't FOCUS. Seriously, I will ask him to put a paper in his cubbie and he will get distracted by the markers or a paper on the floor. One day I had to redirect him at least 6 times to get from his desk to the cubbie. However, the kid in my class is eight and Tyson is 4. We've had some successful interventions with this kiddo without medication but I've also seen some kids go on medication and have wonderful results. I guess it just depends on the child.

Shepherd Family said...

That sounds like Tyson. But he really is a good, sweet kid. I'm wondering if he is just a 4 yr old boy and I shouldn't worry.

Nicole said...

I agree with motherboard as far as finding other ways to help him focus. Don't rush into medicating or even labeling him as ADHD. Although I do believe it is legit I also believe that people medicate their kids way too much and also use ADHD as an excuse for many things. He is only four and at this point his behavior isn't having a long term negative effect on him. WOW, it actually sounds like I know what I am talking about. Nope, I'm just opinionated.