Tuesday, April 1, 2008

The Starving Runner

My friend Megan sent me this article today. You can read it here
It was SOOOO what I needed to hear this week.
Thank you Megan! You are awesome!

So, I had a little epiphany today. I was talking to me sister, and we were laughing a little bit over my drama of the past weekend. She mentioned her friend read my blog, and said how glad she was that I was willing to talk about what everyone else is afraid to say. I've had a lot of comment regarding this, and I want to thank everyone for their support.
As a person who has been battling depression my whole life, and I felt ashamed for so many years...like it's some kind of plague or weird mutation that I have.
A little while ago, my aunt said that depression runs in our family. That's just the way it is. So what, if we have to take a little pill to be happy.

So, here is my little epiphany. YES! So what, if I have to take a pill to function normally, to take care of myself and my family. I AM NOT ASHAMED of that! The Lord put us here to live this life and find out how to be happy. There is nothing wrong with doing whatever it takes to be happy. So, There is NO shame is having to take anti-depressants.
I used to be embarrassed, like I was a failure if I admitted that I was depressed. And being the prideful person that I am, I HATED that I had to take medication to overcome that. But after talking to some friends and family members who also struggle with depression, I finally realized that it is OK.
If the darn pills work, then it's obvious that there is a chemical imbalance, and if they help, then what's the big deal?
People with diabetes or asthma or heart conditions have to take medication to deal with their ailments? Why is depression so taboo? I don't know....

But I'm just saying....LIFE IS HARD...that's just the way it is...it's no different for me than for anybody else...Everyone has their challenges in life...and it's OK to do whatever it takes to make it bearable...whether it be taking a pill, running to blow off steam (yes, running is such a mood booster for me!!---that is partly why I do it), pounding the piano for an hour (I do that too), or whatever it is that works...it's OK.

So, I want to thank everyone of you for your comments and support. And for giving me the courage to be Honest, and hopefully, somebody out there will get something from all my crazy ramblings...


The Motherboard said...

I have been thinking about doing a post about this very topic too. Depression is such a taboo subject, and people are so weird about it... but why? I just don't get it. It really is no different than a person taking insulin their whole life... Everyone has their "burden" to carry... Ours just happens to be this. And, frankly, I would much rather have this burden than some of the others out there. You wrote beautifully about a topic that more people need to be educated on!

Holly said...

I just wanted to let you know I got something out of this. I had to go on an anti-depressant after having Abbie, and I have felt the same way you just described and it was like what you wrote was an answer to my prayers on something severe I have been struggling with! So THANK YOU!

Anonymous said...


Hi, My name is Shannon Bolt and I'm Kristen's friend that she told you about. This post made me feel really good. I also take a "happy pill" everyday and I had the same feeling you did--ashamed, embarrassed, etc. But it is so good to know that there are others out there who suffer from this horrible "disease". Thanks for your honesty. BTW I'm also Erin Shepherd's friend. I grew up with her in Oklahoma--we go WAY back! If you ever talk to her tell her hi! I miss her so much!