Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Thankful #11

I know yesterday's post was called Thankful #11. Well, I'm senile, and thought yesterday was the 11th, and was just going by the date. You'd think I'd use my logic and think it was just two days after my daughter birthday, and by deductive reasoning figure out that it was the 10th. Or look at a calendar.

My Mom called me this morning. She read my blog, and got worried. Apparently, this here blog has been a bit of a downer lately. Sorry about that.

I have totally lost my funny bone. Why is it so stinking hard to break the habit of complaining?

Seriously, and don't hate me for saying this, but I think it just might be easier to lose weight than to be positive.

For some of you, you have a lot of weight on your shoulders, and a lot of reasons greater than mine to concern you, and yet you continually strive to see the good in things, and uplift others.

You are truly an inspiration to me.

It's a vicious cycle, I think. I get down, then think about all the reasons I shouldn't be down. I mean, I really do have a great life. I have a lot of good things going on. So, I have no right whatsoever to be depressed. Then I get more depressed, because I feel like a loser for being depressed when I'm so blessed.

I'm ready to stop that cycle once and for all. This morning, when I got out of bed, and I was about to start my day, same as usual. And I started to make my bed. Then I remembered what my sister told me yesterday. So, I stopped right then and there, knelt down and said a prayer.

It was hard. I don't know why it is incredibly difficult for me to pray for myself. I can pray for all the people in my life, but when I need help, I find myself avoiding the Lord. I think part of me is ashamed, for neglecting Him, even though I know He knows my thoughts. The crazy thing is that I had a really wonderful experience about a month ago with prayer, and it's sad how soon I forgot that I really need to come to Him everyday of my life.

And I've discovered that it's Ok, to pray for help in knowing what to pray for. Sometimes I kneel down and draw a blank, because I'm so overwhelmed I don't know how to word it. It's something I need to practice.

So, today, again, I'm thankful for Prayer. I know I used it yesterday, but since I said two things, I figure I can bend the rules a little and say it again.

I'm thankful that I can commune with God, and that I know He hears me, and answers me, even though sometimes it's hard to recognize, or it's not what we were expecting. He is there. He wants us to talk to Him.

And I know He loves me, and wants me to be Happy. So, that alone is going to get me through this day. And maybe step by step, I'll be able to pull out of this black hole, and find the light.


Krazy Kat said...

Sher I hope you start feeling better about things. Good thing we have a spiritual sister who can tell us what to do to solve our problems. By the way, I love the wonder woman cake a couple posts down! You are very talented!

tammy said...

I am thankful for prayer, too. It's nice to not feel like we're alone.

I hope you start feeling better about things.

Kristina P. said...

Sher, I know that this funk won't last forever. Hang in there!

wonder woman said...

Sometimes I just want to spill my guts on my blog, but then I remember I've told everyone I know about my blog, and it's stuff that I'm cool sharing with all of cyberspace, but not my family and friends.

Basically, sorry you got caught. =D

I just wanted to tell you that #1 I made my bed today, and #2 I knelt down and prayed. Because of your post yesterday. With any luck, we can form a habit!!

I think you're right. Prayer is something we have to practice. And it's okay to start small. You don't have to have prayers that are 5 minutes long right now. Our GD teacher this week said that even if we only have a desire to have a desire, God can work with that. We just gotta put in a little effort. (He was talking about scripture study, but the prisciple applies.) Even if you just want to WANT to really pray, just start small and God will help you.

And it's okay to be a little down every now and then. It's beyond normal.

Annette Lyon said...

I'm in a bit of a downer funk myself right now, so I needed this. I need to pray for myself AND remember to pray in the mornings, not just at night. Thanks.

Jan said...

How inspiring Sher. Seriously inspiring. I know that you will find that light. I am so in need of this morning prayer thing too. I have not been doing that. I so needed to hear you and your strength in getting on your knees even though you didn't feel like it. The light will come. I love your determination. Been there so many times. It does seem to get easier as you keep learning about yourself and what it is that contributes to those down times. It never goes away, it is always at the door. But I really think you are on the right track. So proud of you. Hugs for Sher care bear.

I wrote a post on how I lost my Ha Ha once. Go and read the jokes that people gave me. It was priceless. I did find my Ha Ha again too. It will come back. Watch the Jazz singer. For some reason, that show gets me going.

Mother Goose said...

Well, I guess I found my struggle. Mechelle had asked on her blog and I couldn't think of anything.
But, I too have no problem praying for others or encouraging or asking for others but when it comes to me. I just don't ask or pray for things. Lord, knows I need them. But, I don't ask! I've been so blessed already. I think it has hindered a closer relationship with Him, which I so need! Thank you for your post. You are an amazing woman. You are strong. Perhaps, I should start saying my personal prayers just for me! and actually ask Heavenly Father for blessings just for me. It seems really scary to do so.

Anonymous said...

Hi you don't know me, and I don't know how I found your blog but I've been reading it for a while and enjoy it. I wonder if you could have Fibromyalgia. The symptoms get worse when it's stormy. Just a thought. Maybe you could ask a doctor. I hope you feel better soon.

kitchenditcher said...

Being in a blue funk is no fun. Here's hoping that sunny days are soon ahead!

Trying to Stay Calm! said...

Hope you are smiling soon! Big ♥ Hugs!

Chad and Tenaya said...

So I have to ask you if I can copy your idea of saying something your thankful for each day this month. I know I'm a bit late, but I will try to catch up. While I was reading your post... a light clicked on "um this is the month to be thankful!" Where is my mind these days I don't know... i think in the three year old melt down phase (dang my kid has those all day every day -- what is wrong with them always wanting to do everything by themselves....AHHHHH!)

Anyways if you don't mind, I think it would be good for me. Thanks for the inspiration!

*MARY* said...

I hardly ever remember to pray in the morning. Thanks for reminding me. I should go get a prayer rock.

Mikki said...

hang in there Sher!! Email me if you'd like:
I'll give you my phone number and you can call and just vent if it helps. I've got wide shoulders--great for crying on.
Great post about praying though. I forgot to this morning as usual. Hopefully tomorrow, I'll look at my bed and a lightbulb will go off.

Jeni said...

Hey, I'm now a follower and also welcome you to my site. Belieeeve me I share your pain (and your joy). Thanks for being real and YOU! Prayer IS wonderful and yet it is sooo easy to let it slide. THanks for the uplifting words.

da Bergs said...

Hey chickie... we all get the blues! I dont know why... maybe it helps us to have compasion for others. But, look at you! You are helping so many of us! We are all praying more due to you and your sweet posts! THANK YOU!!!

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

I love posts like this...I am also thankful for prayer and I need to do it WAY MORE often than I do! :)

The Dutra Family said...

Hi, I found your blog through Camille Nichols, and I am so grateful I did. I struggle too with depression and feel this very way sometimes, okay a lot of the times. Your story sounds so much like mine, thank you for your post, it helped me so much. I hope you start feeling better again.

Motherboard said...

I suck at my morning prayers. You always inspire me to be better.

God really knew what he was doing when he made us VT companions!


word ver: Fumfiesh. I think this person has a lisp.